a few funnies

Sam says "Mom, my stomach hurts."
I open my mouth to respond and before I can say anything, he shouts out:
"And I don't need to go to the bathroom and I already drank a big glass of water and it DIDN'T help, so don't even say it!"
Have you heard the Tim Hawkins comedy bit where he jokes that every Southern Mama has the same solution to pain/illness? I am born-and-raised Pacific Northwest but there's a lotta the ole south in me, because "You need to go sit on the pot" is the medical advice I dispense most often.



Caleb and John are driving home from a Ducks football game. The insects are meeting their doom, slamming up against the windshield of our old Suburban. Caleb sighs wistfully when a big moth splatters in full view and says to his Dad
"I feel so bad for that moth." When John (aka Mr. Compassion-NOT) asks why, Caleb responds:
"Well, just imagine that moth! All happy and flying around a nice blue lake, thinking to himself This is the best day of my life! and then WHAM! Our car suddenly shows up and now, he's DEAD."