Answers wanted.

We have kept Caleb on a gluten-free diet since late November. We started this diet as a way to confirm our suspicions that he is gluten intolerant. This area of health is so hazy and murky, I just hate that about it! The symptoms are so vague and all over the place, and all my reading shows that they are different for everyone, and especially in children. Because the #s on his original blood test weren't high enough to officially diagnose celiac disease (and besides, we don't believe he has CD, we think he is "just" gluten intolerant, which can and does turn into CD after many years) and we didn't want to put him through the pain of endoscopy surgery (the only other official way to confirm his villa were stunted) we decided that we had nothing to lose by doing a "gluten challenge". This is where where you allow the intestinal villa to heal by eating GF for 90 days or more, than re-introduce gluten to the diet on purpose, in order to check for symptoms that can confirm or deny an allergic response.
I'm somewhat mild in personality but get very, very grizzly bear mama about my kids. In this case, I want answers. This is my child here, and I refuse to accept "maybes". I certainly don't want to waste time and energy, if there is something seriously wrong with my little boy, and have that missed because I was chasing Internet rabbits!
So I gathered up what I had and took it to God...I handed Him my list of Caleb's symptoms that could be 400 different things. His blood test that states yes, his kidney, liver and white blood cell counts are clearly struggling. My fears and anxious worries over my baby getting weaker everyday and I can't seem to stop it. The lack of any health insurance and a tight budget. The overwhelming flood of an Internet full of opinions.

Here's this mess, Lord. What would you have us do? You made this child, you know what is wrong and you promised wisdom to all who ask it of you. I know You are trustworthy, and wise and loving and I am going to put all our hope in You for this.

A few months ago, I posted here about how God answered. Today, I want to continue in giving Him the glory by telling the "rest of the story". An anonymous check came to us in December, that paid Caleb's Dr. bill, in full. I had a deep peace about the new path we were on, and the anxiety disappeared (those of you who know what a worrier I can be, know this was definitely a God-thing!) Normally picky and fussy, Caleb was remarkably okay with the major change in his diet. His appetite increased and his health improved by leaps and bounds. Each week that passed we were more convinced that a-ha! the mystery was finally solved. Gone was the intense fatigue, the headaches, the irritability, the brain fog, the muscle aches, waking up frequently at night and constipation. Even his frequent canker sores and constant sore throat disappeared! To my dismay, his face is still pale and underneath his eyes the dark circles remained but even this was improved some, for people were no longer looking at him and asking me in alarm "Oh, is Caleb sick?"

So I expected that the wheat-filled, gluten heavy feast of Wednesday would surely make the child sicker than a dog! He thought over the menu for weeks, finally deciding on cinnamon rolls for breakfast and Freschetta cheese pizza for lunch. He had garlic bread with dinner and pretzels for a snack. To my amazement, he was FINE! Bright-eyed. Running around. No headache. No symptoms at all. Now Caleb is clever, and we knew he had probably determined to NOT GET SICK so he could eat "regular" again. After each meal he said, "Look! I feel great!" So on Thursday we let him eat gluten again-same thing. Friday, I am so frustrated. Looks like the "answer" wasn't there after all. I cannot be relieved at the thought of all the money we will now save, not having to buy GF foods. You would think I would be delighted to have my son without pain, and grinning at no longer having to make separate meals. I was not. All I could think is "now what?" If it isn't THIS, what is it? Back to the research, back to the Doctors, back to prayer. Maybe we'll try an allergist this time. Though the budget says not until April or so...
should we keep eating GF, just in case? He WAS better, right? Am I crazy?

Then, last night, he gets sick. Flushed and clammy but without a fever. He complains that his throat is "like broken glass in there" and he is super thirsty "but nothing I drink makes it go away!" he moans. It's not quite 5 AM and he is exhausted but I probe gently with questions...yes, his stomach hurts bad. Yes, it's another headache. He crawls up in my lap, crying and unable to stop trembling. I can feel his heart racing in his thin chest. He locks himself in the bathroom for an hour, with diarrhea. By 7 AM he looks like this:

I get online and start researching a little more and find out I was wrong in my expectations. Though some people have immediate reactions, in others it can take 48-36 hours for the allergic response to take full effect. So Caleb's intolerance may not be as bad as we thought, but it is definitely the reason he was/is sick.

Though I hate seeing my child in pain, I am so grateful that God confirmed this for me. You can't fight an enemy you can't see or name. Now I have full confidence that gluten truly is the enemy of Caleb's health. I can go into full grizzly bear Mama fight mode against it.

Just as soon as I get done rocking him in the recliner....